cried

I cried today—

first time in a long time.

Held it in so long

it stopped feeling like mine.

Tears didn’t just fall… they escaped,

like they’d been doing time,

breaking out my eyes

just to prove I’m still alive.

I saw a video of my love—

and that was the breaking point.

No warning.

No build-up.

Just… impact.

One glance turned memories loud,

every feeling hit joint to joint.

My heart dropped in my stomach,

feelings came rushing in waves,

like everything I buried alive

came back crawling out the grave.

And I swear—

I could feel the past breathing again.

That smile…

still got my heart in a chokehold too,

like it never lost the key,

and suddenly all the strength I built

collapsed quietly.

I tried to look away—

but my mind don’t listen.

It replayed you

like a song I never finished,

skipping to the parts

that hurt the most.

I thought I healed…

or maybe I just learned

how to carry it better.

Because healing ain’t always letting go—

sometimes it’s learning how to live with the pain…

and still whisper your name

knowing I’ll never be the same.

Depth

Your body speak fluent— curves saying everything before you even open your mouth.

Im not blind, I cansee it… the way attention follow you like it owe you something.

But I’m wondering, when the room go quiet, when the eyes stop clinging, when the compliments dry up…

who are you?

’Cause beauty loud, it introduce itself quick but substance? that take time to hear.

Can you hold a conversation without your looks finishing your sentences?

Can you touch my mind the same way your body trying to touch my focus?

I’m not knocking what you got

 I’m questioning what stay when all that fades out the frame.

love me loud

I don’t want a quiet love

that halfway, shrug-shoulder,

“you know how I feel” kind of love.

Love me out loud.

Love me like your heart got no reason to hide.

Give me that

“say my name, say my name

when everybody around you” kind of love.

Let it show in your walk,

every lil step you take

the way your posture straighten

when I enter the room,

the way your soul look occupied

even when I’m not beside you.

I want the kind of love

that slips into conversation naturally.

Not my name

but the way your eyes soften

when somebody asks why you smiling.

The way your voice get warmer

talking about “someone”

who make life feel lighter.

I want your friends to know it

without introductions.

Want strangers to feel it

in the distance between your sentences.

Want your love to sound certain

not whispered like a secret

you afraid to claim.

Don’t love me nonchalantly.

Don’t hand me affection

with your palms facing down.

If I’m yours

stand in it.

Let your actions pronounce me

without ever spelling my name.

Let your loyalty be so obvious

even silence says I’m loved.

I’m not asking for obsession.

I’m over being a toxic fetish.

I don’t want to be loved in secret

and denied in daylight.

I just want to be claimed.

crave you

I crave you

in ways words could never do justice.

Like my skin was made

to recognize your touch,

like my lungs only learned breathing

through the air you left behind.

Long before I knew your name

my heart already understood

the rhythm of yours,

allowing our beats to fall in sync

whenever we were together.

I crave you

like a bad habit I swore I’d quit

the kind that ruins sleep,

clouds judgment,

and still feels good enough

to run back to.

Every thought of you lingers

slow, heavy, dangerous.

You don’t just cross my mind…

you stay there,

stretched across my silence

like temptation wearing your face.

I don’t just want your body.

I want the version of you

nobody else gets close enough to touch.

The guarded side.

The tired side.

The softness hidden behind your pride.

The side of you

that only showed up

when the world went quiet

and it was just us

trying not to fall apart.

You made chaos feel familiar.

Made heartbreak feel gentle

like loving hands

wrapped around something already broken.

Like self-destruction

dressed up as comfort.

And somehow I still crave it

still crave you.

Could Have Left Me Alone

You saw the gates were rusted shut,

the hinges stiff with years of pride,

but still you spoke in careful tones

until I let you step inside.

I didn’t just hand you the keys.

I cleared the rooms and swept the floors.

I made a home out of my chest

and opened all the heavy doors.

I gave you more than steady hands.

I gave you safety, gold, and bone.

A dangerous thing happened then

I started planning with you home.

I let your name affect my days,

my spending habits, peace of mind.

Built whole tomorrows from your words

like you had promised you were mine.

To wake a heart that learned to sleep

just to watch it starve for breath,

to take the harvest of my years

and leave a field resembling death

that kind of damage lingers long.

It settles deep inside the soul.

Because before you, loneliness

was painful… but at least controlled.

If love was not your true intent,

or if you knew you couldn’t stay,

you should have seen the “Closed” sign there

and simply turned the other way.

You should have left me untouched then.

Left all my walls and locks alone.

Don’t make a man believe again

if you can’t love him all the way home.

brick by brick

I built this life brick by brick, scar by scar, lesson by lesson.

I will not stand here arguing my worth with someone surrounded by proof.

My character speaks louder than any defense I could ever make. My actions have already said enough.

If you cannot recognize the value of my presence, then perhaps you will learn it through the weight of my absence.

not me

I miss the version of me

that used to feel things fully.

Back when laughter came easy,

when music sounded alive,

when my dreams had color

instead of instructions,

when even my words

carried passion whenever I spoke.

Now everything feels routine—

wake up, work, survive the day,

pretend I’m still connected

to the things I once loved.

The passion left quietly.

No goodbye speech.

No slammed doors.

Just a slow disappearance

I didn’t notice

until everything started turning gray.

I stare at old hobbies

like strangers I used to know.

Pick them up for a moment,

then put them right back down

because my heart no longer reaches for them

the way it used to.

And happiness—

that’s become something distant.

Like hearing people laugh

from another room

while I stand outside the door

trying to remember

what was so funny.

I keep telling myself

maybe I’m just tired.

Maybe this feeling will pass.

Maybe one morning

I’ll wake up

and life will feel alive again.

But right now,

I’m just existing

in the space

between who I was

and whoever I’m becoming