Thursday, May 14, 2026

Depth

Your body speak fluent— curves saying everything before you even open your mouth.
Im not blind, I cansee it… the way attention follow you like it owe you something.
But I’m wondering, when the room go quiet, when the eyes stop clinging, when the compliments dry up…
who are you?
’Cause beauty loud, it introduce itself quick but substance? that take time to hear.
Can you hold a conversation without your looks finishing your sentences?
Can you touch my mind the same way your body trying to touch my focus?
I’m not knocking what you got
 I’m questioning what stay when all that fades out the frame.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Could Have Left Me Alone

You saw the gates were rusted shut,
the hinges stiff with years of pride,
but still you spoke in careful tones
until I let you step inside.
I didn’t just hand you the keys.
I cleared the rooms and swept the floors.
I made a home out of my chest
and opened all the heavy doors.
I gave you more than steady hands.
I gave you safety, gold, and bone.
A dangerous thing happened then
I started planning with you home.
I let your name affect my days,
my spending habits, peace of mind.
Built whole tomorrows from your words
like you had promised you were mine.
To wake a heart that learned to sleep
just to watch it starve for breath,
to take the harvest of my years
and leave a field resembling death
that kind of damage lingers long.
It settles deep inside the soul.
Because before you, loneliness
was painful… but at least controlled.
If love was not your true intent,
or if you knew you couldn’t stay,
you should have seen the “Closed” sign there
and simply turned the other way.
You should have left me untouched then.
Left all my walls and locks alone.
Don’t make a man believe again
if you can’t love him all the way home.

Friday, May 8, 2026

brick by brick

I built this life brick by brick, scar by scar, lesson by lesson.
I will not stand here arguing my worth with someone surrounded by proof.
My character speaks louder than any defense I could ever make. My actions have already said enough.
If you cannot recognize the value of my presence, then perhaps you will learn it through the weight of my absence.

not me

I miss the version of me
that used to feel things fully.
Back when laughter came easy,
when music sounded alive,
when my dreams had color
instead of instructions,
when even my words
carried passion whenever I spoke.
Now everything feels routine—
wake up, work, survive the day,
pretend I’m still connected
to the things I once loved.
The passion left quietly.
No goodbye speech.
No slammed doors.
Just a slow disappearance
I didn’t notice
until everything started turning gray.
I stare at old hobbies
like strangers I used to know.
Pick them up for a moment,
then put them right back down
because my heart no longer reaches for them
the way it used to.
And happiness—
that’s become something distant.
Like hearing people laugh
from another room
while I stand outside the door
trying to remember
what was so funny.
I keep telling myself
maybe I’m just tired.
Maybe this feeling will pass.
Maybe one morning
I’ll wake up
and life will feel alive again.
But right now,
I’m just existing
in the space
between who I was
and whoever I’m becoming

Thursday, May 7, 2026

lately

Depression been whooping me lately
but the only time y’all tune in
is when I turn it into a joke.
Somewhere along the way…
the things I loved
stopped loving me back.
The people that used to recharge me
started draining me.
Music don’t hit the same
just noise
filling up quiet.
Laughs feel delayed,
like my body clapping
for something my heart ain’t in.
Stuff that used to light me up
now feel like chores
I keep forgetting to care about.
I sit in rooms I used to enjoy
and feel like a stranger
in my own happiness.
Passion ain’t leave all at once
it faded…
like a slow dimming light
I ain’t notice going out.
So I keep laughing for you…
while I’m losing fights
you’ll never even know I’m in.
Guess my pain only matters
when it’s entertaining.

Begging Tems F.M.T

You talk like distance is the safer route,
but I find my calm in the way you doubt.
Even when you break, I don’t break from you,
I just learn the shape of the things we go through.
You don’t gotta be everything I dreamed,
just don’t disappear when it gets too deep.
I’ve seen your scars and I still reach in,
‘cause losing you feels like I don’t win.
And maybe you’re right, maybe you’re unsure,
but I’d rather have unsure than have nothing for sure.
So if you’re leaving, tell me how to stay,
‘cause I’m not built to watch you fade away.

Monday, May 4, 2026

cried

I cried today—
first time in a long time.
Held it in so long
it stopped feeling like mine.
Tears didn’t just fall… they escaped,
like they’d been doing time,
breaking out my eyes
just to prove I’m still alive.
I saw a video of my love—
and that was the breaking point.
No warning.
No build-up.
Just… impact.
One glance turned memories loud,
every feeling hit joint to joint.
My heart dropped in my stomach,
feelings came rushing in waves,
like everything I buried alive
came back crawling out the grave.
And I swear—
I could feel the past breathing again.
That smile…
still got my heart in a chokehold too,
like it never lost the key,
and suddenly all the strength I built
collapsed quietly.
I tried to look away—
but my mind don’t listen.
It replayed you
like a song I never finished,
skipping to the parts
that hurt the most.
I thought I healed…
or maybe I just learned
how to carry it better.
Because healing ain’t always letting go—
sometimes it’s learning how to live with the pain…
and still whisper your name
knowing I’ll never be the same.