Begging Tems

You talk like distance is the safer route,

but I find my calm in the way you doubt.

Even when you break, I don’t break from you,

I just learn the shape of the things we go through.

You don’t gotta be everything I dreamed,

just don’t disappear when it gets too deep.

I’ve seen your scars and I still reach in,

‘cause losing you feels like I don’t win.

And maybe you’re right, maybe you’re unsure,

but I’d rather have unsure than have nothing for sure.

So if you’re leaving, tell me how to stay,

‘cause I’m not built to watch you fade away.

You say you want me,

but your actions don’t align

like your heart signed a contract

your soul never read.

Your “I love you” used to warm me,

now it land cold

like words fresh out your mouth

but frozen before they touch me.

I can give you everything

the needs, the wants, the in-betweens,

be the steady hand,

the place you run when life gets heavy

be your stability in a shaky world.

But if I’m not what you choose

when it’s time to show it,

if I’m not the one you stand on

when it’s pressure applied…

then what am I really holding on to?

’Cause love ain’t just what you say

it’s how you show up

when it costs you something.

And right now?

you loving me in theory…

but not in practice.

So I started noticing the distance

wasn’t just moments anymore

it was becoming us.

We stopped being us a while ago

we just never said it out loud.

This love… your love… our love

Hopeless.

realizing can't breathe

Loving you came so naturally, it was like the oxygen I breathed,

Never had to question it, it just lived inside of me.

We were steady, we were solid, we were everything we needed,

Now we’re talking less and less, silence growing in between.

Conversations getting shorter, feelings harder to read,

I used to feel you in my arms, now those feelings are just memories.

I’m holding on to moments when we used to be…

Now every breath I used to breathe feels like your oxygen isn’t meant for me.

crave you

I crave you

in ways words could never do justice.

Like my skin was made

to recognize your touch,

like my lungs only learned breathing

through the air you left behind.

Long before I knew your name

my heart already understood

the rhythm of yours,

allowing our beats to fall in sync

whenever we were together.

I crave you

like a bad habit I swore I’d quit

the kind that ruins sleep,

clouds judgment,

and still feels good enough

to run back to.

Every thought of you lingers

slow, heavy, dangerous.

You don’t just cross my mind…

you stay there,

stretched across my silence

like temptation wearing your face.

I don’t just want your body.

I want the version of you

nobody else gets close enough to touch.

The guarded side.

The tired side.

The softness hidden behind your pride.

The side of you

that only showed up

when the world went quiet

and it was just us

trying not to fall apart.

You made chaos feel familiar.

Made heartbreak feel gentle

like loving hands

wrapped around something already broken.

Like self-destruction

dressed up as comfort.

And somehow I still crave it

still crave you.

mixed feeling

I woke up feeling great today— woke up before the alarm, body pain-free. Felt like the universe was finally about to shine on me, like today had a different kind of quiet to it.

I smiled for no reason. My chest felt light. No pressure on my ribs, no storm in my thoughts, just peace… the kind I forgot existed.

Today was perfect. Too perfect.

And then it hit me—

you never called.

No missed arguments. No heavy tone disguised as “attitude.” No emotional weight hanging off my shoulders like wet clothes I kept trying to dry.

For the first time in a long time, my energy belonged to me.

That’s when I realized maybe my bad days weren’t bad luck at all. Maybe loving you been draining the life out of me so slowly I confused exhaustion for commitment.

And damn… that hurt worse than heartbreak.

Because I was really out here thanking fate for a good day, not realizing the peace came from your absence.

Funny how I still missed you during the best day of my life

love me loud

I don’t want a quiet love

that halfway, shrug-shoulder,

“you know how I feel” kind of love.

Love me out loud.

Love me like your heart got no reason to hide.

Give me that

“say my name, say my name

when everybody around you” kind of love.

Let it show in your walk,

every lil step you take

the way your posture straighten

when I enter the room,

the way your soul look occupied

even when I’m not beside you.

I want the kind of love

that slips into conversation naturally.

Not my name

but the way your eyes soften

when somebody asks why you smiling.

The way your voice get warmer

talking about “someone”

who make life feel lighter.

I want your friends to know it

without introductions.

Want strangers to feel it

in the distance between your sentences.

Want your love to sound certain

not whispered like a secret

you afraid to claim.

Don’t love me nonchalantly.

Don’t hand me affection

with your palms facing down.

If I’m yours

stand in it.

Let your actions pronounce me

without ever spelling my name.

Let your loyalty be so obvious

even silence says I’m loved.

I’m not asking for obsession.

I’m over being a toxic fetish.

I don’t want to be loved in secret

and denied in daylight.

I just want to be claimed.

stranger

I’m supposed to be your only, but you make me feel like a side dude— standing outside the window watching a relationship I’m somehow not a part of.

Crazy how I can hold your hand and still feel single. How strangers get conversations, attention, softness… that I gotta beg for in private.

Loving you started feeling like waiting for my turn in a place I helped build. Like I gotta compete for attention that was supposed to come natural.

And that kind of pain? Quiet. Embarrassing.

’Cause how you make somebody feel lonely while laying right beside them? How you look me in my eyes and still make me question if I’m loved or just available.