doin just fine

Today was different than it was yesterday.

I saw your picture today and my heart didn’t sink.

No long pause.

No heavy chest.

No feeling like my whole world slipped

to the edge of the sink.

I just looked…

and kept it moving.

For the longest,

your face could ruin my whole day.

One memory of us

and I’d start drowning in old conversations,

replaying apologies

like they could change the ending.

But today?

you just looked like somebody I used to know 

A person I used to love deeply.

Im not saying I don’t care any more

But the motivation to see you smile  don't drive me anymore.

That feeling of calling you just to hear your voice no longer set inside me.

The desires to hug you tightly just so I can capture your smell and smell you throughout my day

I finally reached that quiet place

where your name don’t shake me.

Where I can miss what we had

without wishing it back.

And for the first time in a long time…

I’m doin just fine.

Depth

Your body speak fluent— curves saying everything before you even open your mouth.

Im not blind, I cansee it… the way attention follow you like it owe you something.

But I’m wondering, when the room go quiet, when the eyes stop clinging, when the compliments dry up…

who are you?

’Cause beauty loud, it introduce itself quick but substance? that take time to hear.

Can you hold a conversation without your looks finishing your sentences?

Can you touch my mind the same way your body trying to touch my focus?

I’m not knocking what you got

 I’m questioning what stay when all that fades out the frame.

Could Have Left Me Alone

You saw the gates were rusted shut,

the hinges stiff with years of pride,

but still you spoke in careful tones

until I let you step inside.

I didn’t just hand you the keys.

I cleared the rooms and swept the floors.

I made a home out of my chest

and opened all the heavy doors.

I gave you more than steady hands.

I gave you safety, gold, and bone.

A dangerous thing happened then

I started planning with you home.

I let your name affect my days,

my spending habits, peace of mind.

Built whole tomorrows from your words

like you had promised you were mine.

To wake a heart that learned to sleep

just to watch it starve for breath,

to take the harvest of my years

and leave a field resembling death

that kind of damage lingers long.

It settles deep inside the soul.

Because before you, loneliness

was painful… but at least controlled.

If love was not your true intent,

or if you knew you couldn’t stay,

you should have seen the “Closed” sign there

and simply turned the other way.

You should have left me untouched then.

Left all my walls and locks alone.

Don’t make a man believe again

if you can’t love him all the way home.

brick by brick

I built this life brick by brick, scar by scar, lesson by lesson.

I will not stand here arguing my worth with someone surrounded by proof.

My character speaks louder than any defense I could ever make. My actions have already said enough.

If you cannot recognize the value of my presence, then perhaps you will learn it through the weight of my absence.

not me

I miss the version of me

that used to feel things fully.

Back when laughter came easy,

when music sounded alive,

when my dreams had color

instead of instructions,

when even my words

carried passion whenever I spoke.

Now everything feels routine—

wake up, work, survive the day,

pretend I’m still connected

to the things I once loved.

The passion left quietly.

No goodbye speech.

No slammed doors.

Just a slow disappearance

I didn’t notice

until everything started turning gray.

I stare at old hobbies

like strangers I used to know.

Pick them up for a moment,

then put them right back down

because my heart no longer reaches for them

the way it used to.

And happiness—

that’s become something distant.

Like hearing people laugh

from another room

while I stand outside the door

trying to remember

what was so funny.

I keep telling myself

maybe I’m just tired.

Maybe this feeling will pass.

Maybe one morning

I’ll wake up

and life will feel alive again.

But right now,

I’m just existing

in the space

between who I was

and whoever I’m becoming

lately

Depression been whooping me lately

but the only time y’all tune in

is when I turn it into a joke.

Somewhere along the way…

the things I loved

stopped loving me back.

The people that used to recharge me

started draining me.

Music don’t hit the same

just noise

filling up quiet.

Laughs feel delayed,

like my body clapping

for something my heart ain’t in.

Stuff that used to light me up

now feel like chores

I keep forgetting to care about.

I sit in rooms I used to enjoy

and feel like a stranger

in my own happiness.

Passion ain’t leave all at once

it faded…

like a slow dimming light

I ain’t notice going out.

So I keep laughing for you…

while I’m losing fights

you’ll never even know I’m in.

Guess my pain only matters

when it’s entertaining.

Begging Tems F.M.T

You talk like distance is the safer route,

but I find my calm in the way you doubt.

Even when you break, I don’t break from you,

I just learn the shape of the things we go through.

You don’t gotta be everything I dreamed,

just don’t disappear when it gets too deep.

I’ve seen your scars and I still reach in,

‘cause losing you feels like I don’t win.

And maybe you’re right, maybe you’re unsure,

but I’d rather have unsure than have nothing for sure.

So if you’re leaving, tell me how to stay,

‘cause I’m not built to watch you fade away.