Dear Heartbreak

Dear heartbreak, so we meet again.

I used to think I was afraid of commitment,

but when it comes to you… we go strong.

Some might even say we locked in.

And I hate that, heartbreak.

I hate how you keep finding your way back to me

like you got a master key to every lock I own.

I hate how you sit in my chest,

just waiting for your moment

to drop to my stomach.

I tried to outgrow you, heartbreak.

I tried to heal past you—

I even tried to find a replacement for you.

I found love…

at least I thought I did.

And love was good to me.

She was sweet to me,

treated me better than you ever did.

For once… I was happy.

I even bought her a ring, heartbreak…

…you would’ve been proud.

But you saw every moment, didn’t you?

Because love…

turned out to be you in disguise.

You just changed your name on me,

softened your touch,

made me feel safe enough

to forget what you felt like.

You learned patience this time,

learned how to smile in my face

before breaking me slower.

And I fell for it…

every single time.

Guess I never really left you, heartbreak—

I just met you in a different form.

accepting

Written from emotions when I was going through a breakup. Accepting what we had isn't us anymore. 

I had something good happen to me at work today.

I got promoted.

They told me it came with a pay raise—

I’m talking a difference in hundreds, not tens.

I picked up the phone, ready to tell you the news,

but then it hit me… you not my person anymore.

You not the one I see in the morning,

or the last face look for at night.

And if I don’t see you,

I call you, if i dont call you, i text you.

That part of me no longer exist any more.

I can’t even start my day

unless it started with you…

and that’s the part that hurt the most.

You were my Forgers in my cup, now everything just feel off.

Now I’m moving forward

but missing what I used to move for.

easy chick

Real talk I love me my easy chick  she be mad fun
I just find it hilarious whenever she start talking she's the one
"I be that wifey type," she be saying but me I'm just little curious
You let any nigga smash but you want a real man to take you serious
I just laugh at that thought, "Yo be mad funny"
You say you got standards but you compromise them for some money
I'm not knocking your hustle I'm not knocking your style
But if you put yourself in a situation don't get mad when the world starts talking about you foul.

My facebook friend

I have a facebook friend name Sierra Last name I rather not say
Sierra hit me up on facebook, "Anthony are you ok?"
I know a lot of things about Sierra like one she don't like me
Which got me thinking, "Why the hell did Sierra just write me?"
I replied back to her "I'm good I can't complain."
She said I heard you were crying I said no I just came in from the rain
She said its cool to talk, your emotions are safe with me
I said I don't trust you these feeling are going to stay with me
She said no Trust? I thought we were friends
I replied LOL when did that relationship begin
Ok Sierra heres a test, How often do we text get your phone take a look
The answer should be we don't thats why our friend only exist on the book

1/18/2014

My mom like to tell a story about when I was four and got lost in the store. Now rather just freaking out cause I didn't know where my mom was at, I just thought to myself, "I know my way home, its a long walk but I know where home is." The reason I start with that story is this, even at a young age I felt like it was me verse the world.
So here's the update, I decided to move from Virginia (Hampton Roads Area) to Baltimore, MD. Why you got out the comfort zone? You ask. For someone I loved. Its funny how life works.
I gave up 1400 every two my own place, two dumb easy jobs for a job I didn't like (it was just good location) and to sleep in my car and crush on a friend sofa during the holiday (xmas and new years). Now I'm not complaining at all cause it was all worth it. Keep reading and its going to make sense.
Now when I first got into Baltimore I was a broken person a shell of the person I use to be. The only reason I moved cause I wanted to save my marriage even though I told people I had other reasons " Virginia is too small for me I need more." Now I got there I tried my best to repair what was broken. Now did it work? Ask her. Just don't call from my phone cause she won't answer if she see my number. Lesson I learned from that is this: When you say your going to hand your burdens to God, you have to let him do his work. Don't interfere just let it work out in you favor. God will never give you more than you can handle. Just trust in the lord.
In Baltimore I also got back into church. It was the same church that when I first accepted Christ as my savior. Unfortunately I leave Job Corps before I was actually baptized but I'm back there now.
Also I found how far I would go to be with someone I love. And most of all I found my safe again just a more mature me. No longer did I feel the need to want to hurt her so she can feel what I felt I just felt like hey why make someone a priority to make you feel like a option. Do I want to work things out? Yes but its not the end of the world if it don't... So with that in mind I'm at ground zero starting all over again job and finding a place.
Let me add the job I didn't like let me go like story bout that. So for two days I got let go Wednesday  (four if you count the weekend) I was jobless and homeless, only in Maryland I still have my place in VA (that's another blog). But that following I had a better job with more room to grow and more money (though I now don't chase money but it don't hurt any)
To be continued

Storm

They heard my story, they felt my pain, yet they lost cause i smile
Questions they ask me, "How can you smile when you been in a storm for some time now?"
I smile because I know this storm is bout to pass
I smile because I know that no matter how big the storm can get I have a God that is bigger
I smile because I can stand in the storm and even with the hardest rain, I don't have to worry about getting wet
Cause' I have a God that keeps me dry at all times
I can smile at times when others may feel that I should be depress
Because I trust in my God and know that he will never put a obstacle in my path that I'm not able to over come
While others may only see the things and people that i have lost, I only see the things and the people that are being removed cause they were blocking me from my blessing
Just because they started this race with me does not mean they are going to finish it with me
I'm able to smile because I know its the joy that you get from God and not the material things that matter
So while others may look at my situation and only see what it is, I see what it will be
So while y'all may see a storm, I only see mist

Shorty

Shorty had a problem jumping in and out of bed
She didn't care who you were, if you asked she gave head
If you wanted more than that, yeah she did that stuff too
Just push her on her back, drop your pants and begin to screw
Well time went by and shorty stomach was getting kind of big
Little did she know she was bout to have a kid
There was one big problem that she really had
She didn't know who was her baby's dad